i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
