Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
