we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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