tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
