it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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