there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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