Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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