If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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