its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
