I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
