I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
