my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
