I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
