hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
