4 words: hood of his car
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
