No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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