hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
