My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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