yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
