I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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