ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
