He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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