AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
