He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
