you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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