I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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