I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
