you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize