the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
