Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
