Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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