On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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