with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
