i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
