I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize