He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish i was in the wii world.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
