wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
