so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
