if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
