You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
