you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
