It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
