Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
