brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
