put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
