More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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