Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize