All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
