I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
