yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Text me some of your sweat
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