He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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