Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
