Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
