i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
