You just made me feel so damn special
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize