we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
