Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
