you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize