i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This show inspires me to have sex in space
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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