Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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