The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
