Tell her she can't have a vagina
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize